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19/02/2004
LARS HARMS CHI CHARGE
While Callypigous Linda brings the roof down!
OK, you didn’t think this was going to be just another boring list of scores did you? And there had to be some callipygian cavorting again with the first match on court, didn’t there? This was the opportunity for the Chi massive to secure the play-off place that had started to seem a little bit tenuous – yet the knowledge that 2 3-2 defeats would probably be enough seemed to have started to gnaw at the very fibre of their spirits.
We started with the treat that was the evergreen Linda Charman against the vibrant whippersnapper of the World No.10 Vicky Botwright. Callypygian? Damn right – we were treated to 4 of the finest for the best part of an hour, and we saw some scintillating squash to boot. It may have been 3-0 but Linda was made to show why she is still amongst the best players that Women’s squash has to offer, with some rallies that featured good old hacking, and some breathtaking strokeplay. The pressure grew on Linda, until at one point having tinned what seemed to be an unmissable front court winner, she slammed the ball in hot pursuit of Beagle 2 somewhere in the Martian pastures, and promptly showered both the players in a downpour of fibrous particles from the court ceiling. Her “Oh sh*t” was followed by a stern “Language please” from Cookie, who then realised exactly what she was sh*tting about! A brief interlude followed, during which the gallery was treated to a masterful display of courtcraft (sweeping) by the Club Chairman.
Despite this, the old girl eased to a 3-0 win, to set up the necessary victory for Chi. During this time, Ben Garner had disposed of Lee youngster Chris Simpson 3-0 in 20 minutes for the loss of 7 points – 5 nicks in the first 6 rallies did help, mind you! Then Vole disposed of Scott Fitzgerald by a similar scoreline but conceded 17 points in just under 20 minutes, but with a higher nick count. So with the win secured, we were looking forward to another whitewash to maybe give us a chance of pipping the dreaded Brox to the title. Jelly took to the court against Brads – you just knew what was coming – fearsome pace, gutty rallies, and a few slammers from Brads along the way. What we got was possibly the most disciplined squash I have seen from the tractor boy, along with some fierce nicks, and a not half bad performance from our Jells. Not the result he wanted with a trip to Prague the next day, but Brads deserved his 3-0 win, and his recent victory over Master Berrett suggested that a rich vein of form was opening up for him.
So it was down to Azzi to tidy up the scorecard against the almost unknown Lars Harms. Hmmm! After 2 months out, the visitor was never going to trouble our Azlan, and we would run out comfortable 4-1 winners. Oooops! Azzi was not up to the pace, and possibly didn’t play the best game tactically (I’m told!), but this Harms lad is a bit tasty. Bloody quick, nice touch, and obviously fit (so the girls told me!). The first game was really tight, and Azzi looked to be in control, but as it wore on, the doubts crept in, and 13-11 told its own story. The rest of the match was equally close, but not what the difference in rankings suggested should be the case. Running out a 3-2 winner, Lars exploded in joy at the end, and it was a well deserved win – keep an eye on him in the coming months.
So we make the play-offs, and the Manchester/Pontefract/Edinburgh/Birmingham squad lay in wait. But Canary Wharf beckons, and who knows what surprises we may have in store? Whatever else, it will be a feast for our loyal followers – even some old friends from Portsmouth Squash Club (hi Sarah!) who came along (now that was a real squash club, talking of which where is Martin Bodimeade nowadays?) – and we will be well up for it. Unless our squad get called up for an exhibition match somewhere!
That’s it for now kiddies, so off to bed with Teddy and your glass of milk. We’ll be back in a couple of weeks to tell you all about our victory over the dreaded Brox. Night Night!
Contributor: Peter Crabtree
Club: Chichester
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