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17/03/2003
HUMBLE PIE WERE A GREAT BAND!
Peter Crabtree reflects on a semi-final that went wrong for Chichester ...
OK, this is the moment that some have been waiting for – the 5 course meal that ended with effing great dollops of the aforesaid pie!
But there is an element of pride in the said repast – the team all played well, probably to the limit of their capabilities under the circumstances, and could have hoped for a better result, but hardly reasonably have considered it. This was a Priory team not humbled from the first leg, but certainly a bit p*ssed off, and determined to exact retribution from their opponents on the night.
After a luxurious journey courtesy of sponsors Goodwood Fleet Management in a Chrysler Space Shuttle with f*#k-off leather fittings, and more switches than even the Vole could work out, we descended on Brummagem with a degree of confidence that we could certainly give them a fight, and maybe even just upset them enough! There was definitely a feeling that Ant and Dec could be made to eat the afore-mentioned snack.
The absence of Fitzy (you mean the ever glamorous and personable best ever etc etc etc that was there cheering on her team?) seemed to offer the Southerners a glimmer of hope, but this was dashed when Linda Charman went down with a touch of the goings off coming on (a northern expression for those of you furrowing your brows), so young Suzie Pierrepont stepped up for what seemed to offer us a chance of a winning start following her close encounter at the Nationals a few weeks before. How many players in the NSL would envy a record of never having lost to anybody below the World’s No.1 and 3 (sorry, but Fitzy is, and will remain for some considerable period of time, the No.1)? Well, that was Suzie’s record on the night, and she went on court to face ex Chi player Vicky Lankester, currently ranked 33 in the World, fresh from A-Level studies, a game of hockey, and a bad night in a Brighton Club, by all accounts!
No excuses – Vicky had just flown in from Dallas, and there were rumours of a serious win bonus on offer for her. Suzie is 100 in the World, although that will probably change if she plays a few tournaments, and seemingly had not much of a chance. The first 2 games showed that to be the likely outcome, as a mixture of nerves and lack of belief permeated her game. But the realisation that she had all the qualities to take the game to her opponent suddenly got through, and she fairly raced through the 3rd and 4th games to set up a thrilling finish. Fitzy couldn’t stand the tension, and evaporated to the Vole/Grant match, which left Ant and yours truly contesting the cheering rights. Easy win to Chi there, but the match slipped alarmingly in Priory’s favour with some early errors from Suzie, and better concentration from Vicky. At 8-4 to Vicky, some thought it was all over, but no, 3 cracking rallies went to Chi, and serving at 6-8, we felt that there was a real chance, but experience triumphed, and Vicky edged the match to give Priory a crucial start in the match.
On the main court, Adrian Grant was showing his quality in what was a tough match against Chi Captain Tim Vail. Where the Vole could, probably should, have taken the first leg, this time the match didn’t get quite so close. Although he had chances to go into a 2-0 lead, which may just have had an impact on the final outcome, it wasn’t to be. But 31 in the World means the Grant man is no mug, and although Vole certainly has showed that he can compete at that level, those airbags need some work if he is to reach his full potential. The first went to Tim courtesy of some short rallies, and a few winners, but the Grant man showed his class in grinding out a 3-1 win whilst probably not being allowed to play to his best.
In the “pig pen” as I am reliably informed it is affectionately known, Ben Garner was looking for a repeat 3-0 against Paul “praise the” Lord to get the count-back tally in the right area. Trouble is, he forgot to tell his opponent of the supposed outcome. Lordy still has the shots and the tactical nous to cause trouble for his opponents, even younger (much) and fitter (somewhat) opponents like Benjy, and he made great use of those qualities to race into a 1-0 and then 2-1 lead. But Ben has adopted the Steve Wall attitude (a rather doughty Chi stalwart) of hating losing, and so he didn’t, taking the 4th and 5th 9-3 each to secure what turned out to be Chi’s lone point of the evening.
Azzi meanwhile took on Del Harris in what we had hoped might be as close as we had to a “banker” point. There was obviously some smarting going on from the previous defeat, as Del played superbly to resist the rush of winners from the young Malaysian. Mind you, knocking him out with his racket was a bit strong, and Azzi’s later demonstration of a full “splits” (jeez – my eyes did water!) showed the commitment he was putting into the game. The first 3 games were close, and the difference in each was Azzi’s winning shots at the front of the court – the 2nd game’s were fine, the others a bit too low! But the outcome gradually became more predictable as Priory’s Essex boy edged in front to secure the match for the home side, and a place in the final against Nottingham.
The final (dead) rubber pitted Jelly against “Slapper” Boswell. Now this may be seen as an extremely disrespectful way of referring to the World No.4, but wait. Jelly won the spin, and served to get an eagerly anticipated match under way. Backhand volley crosscourt roller. Hand out! And this was just the start! The dead rubber gives the higher ranked player a significant advantage in that if they lose, it doesn’t affect World Rankings or the outcome of the match, and if they win, they can do it with a degree of extravagance, as indeed Bozzer did, but only after one hell of a battle. The only criticism I could have of the whole night is that some of the gallery have no idea of how quick these players are, and being on the receiving end of some of the highest quality squash I have been privileged to see all season, from both players, it was inevitable that Jelly would be seeking some lets.
To have some of these appeals greeted with sarcastic calls from the gallery is a bit of an insult to one of the fittest players on the Pro Tour, and especially having seen him get to some fantastic “winners” from Bozzer. But moving on, Jelly played out of his skin, and got soundly beaten 3-0. It was close (-ish) in the first 2, when he played probably the best he has all season, but this guy is brilliant. Slapping nicks from almost anywhere he chose, and with Jelly getting probably 2/3rds of them up, it was a feast for the spectators. I could go on for ages about it, but let’s face it – we were beaten on the night by a highly motivated team who deserved their win. On the whole the refereeing was the best and most consistent of the whole season, and Jelly has promised to buy Mr. Mazarella some new shoes!
The hospitality was superb, and we wish Ant and Dec and the team the best of luck in the final, but they should not get too carried away. With our anticipated line-up next season of Peter Nicol, Jon Power, Toby Palmer and Jelly, amongst others, along with Lindy, Suzie and our surprise pocket rocket, we will improve on this season’s impressive record, and be lifting the cup in 12 months time. So, you have been warned!
Oh, and Humble Pie? Search out the vinyl repositories for some great music!
Contributor: Peter Crabtree
Club: Chichester
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