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WAY UP NORTH
Tucked away in England's Northern-most outpost of Northumbria, a mile or
so off the coast and a few miles from Newcastle (upon Tyne), is a gem of a
little club which boasts five squash courts, a bar, and ... well, that's
about it really.
It doesn't look
impressive or imposing from the outside, but once you're inside you can't
help being sucked into the atmosphere of the place. Four courts facing
onto the large bar make it easy to play or watch squash, drink, play pool
or lose a fortune on the bandit, with nothing out of sight or out of the
way. Yes, it's just a squash club, doesn't try to be anything else, and
makes no apologies for it.
DOWN TO THE MEMBERS
Tynemouth is a members club in the true sense, meaning that the
members actually own the place, which is managed and run on their behalf
by a full-time manager and volunteer committee, and a dedicated band of
bar staff.
 With
over 500 members in various categories, and 11 teams in the Northumbria
leagues operating out of the club, peak-time courts are in great demand
throughout the year, but the old-fashioned 'write your name in the book'
system still works a treat. And at £75 a year plus £2 each court fee, it's
pretty cheap too.
The internal
leagues are always popular, with up to 30 divisions of six in most
winter sessions and sponsored prizes each session for the best performers.
Summer Leagues tend to use a variety of scoring systems - 'American',
'Tennis', '30 minutes continuous', 'Darts **' - to liven things up
(although many players simply ignore this and play 'normal' anyway!). The
annual club championships are the highlight of the year, with a
whole week of non-stop squash to determine the club's best in every grade
and age-group, and doubles too.
TEAM TALK
Tynemouth has never subscribed to bringing in 'foreign' superstars to
bolster their teams, so although they regularly occupy the top end of the
Premier division table, the main prize has eluded the club for a long time
now. However, with Alnwick's 'mercenary' team that won the title for nine
seasons now disbanded, the forthcoming campaign promises to be one of the
most interesting for a long time.
 At
the other end of the scale, the men's fifth team has been used as a
vehicle to bring on the juniors, but it was too successful as the team,
starting in the bottom division, won promotion in four successive years
leaving them too high up the scale for the new crop of juniors. New
captain Jason Follin made a special plea for relegation, which was
granted, so this season sees a new fifth team, four juniors new to team
squash plus Jason (number one for now) setting out in the bottom division
with no expectations of anything but enjoying their squash.
 Tynemouth
hosts the majority of tournaments held in the area - County Closed, Summer
Open and the Proctor Memorial, one of the UK's longest running
tournaments which has been held since 1957 and boasts an impressive list
of champions, including Bryan Beeson, Lee Beachill, Nick Taylor, Ong Beng
Hee and many more.
SQUASHED LEEKS
We can always tell when the season is about to start, as Billy Mill
Leek Club take over the place for a weekend in September. The
leek-growers have been part of Tynemouth for 19 years, all active social
members and some players too, and while many a squash player has tried
their hand at one of the North-East's speciality hobbies, it's always the
old hands who carry off the awards.
 This
year's show saw Tom Waters (league 12) win for the fourth time
since 1990, carrying off the top prize worth £140 (over £200 when his
other categories are included).
Then, on Monday
night after the show (tonight, as it happens, 13th Sep!), the produce is
auctioned off and many lucky members enjoy leek soup for a few weeks
afterwards!
HOT NIGHTS ON THE TOON
There's a lively
social scene too, and when 'the Toon' are on the telly the bar is
packed, noisy, and black and white. Mackems enter at their peril during
these times ...
 Situated
as it is in the frozen wastes of the Northern hinterland, it's only fair
that the courts should be hot. What's the recommended temperature? 16, 18
degrees C? Recent attempts to 'fix' temperatures at 22 almost caused a
riot - we like it hot up here, and the saunas are well used too ...
AND FINALLY
 In
an era when many clubs are closing, or changing their nature by becoming
'fitness centres', Tynemouth stands out as a squash club, nothing else.
And a darn good one too, we think.
Better in than out, as they say ...
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Paul Millington
Former world number 28 and National O40 runner-up in 2002, has been
manager since 1996.
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DARTS Scoring ??? **
Invented in the sauna one night, the
rules are simple:
PAR scoring to 101. Winner of each rally scores as many shots as
were played in that rally. A winner counts for double points, a
winner that bounces in the service box is a treble. Oh, and you have
to finish on the exact number needed, otherwise you're 'bust'. |
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Local hero Billy Johnson watches over
the 2004 leek show on court 4
Tommy Waters' Prize leeks
Yes, you can mix squash and leeks, says
Ruth Smith. |
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Courts, Bar, and Facilities. |
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