the Alternative rules of Squash

OK, so not everyone knows the 'proper' rules, even if they profess to do so. There exist though, some 'unofficial' rules (or are they laws?)
which every squash player in the world knows ...

YOUR rules | Your Additions | the REAL Rules

• the harder you try to hit the nick the less likely you are to actually hit it
• you are more likely to hit the nick by luck than judgement
• most 'nick' shots don't hit the nick
• it's easier to hit the tin than the nick
• you never hit the nick when you really need to
• you hit the nick more often in practice than in matches
  

• better to hit the right shot off the wrong foot than the wrong shot off the right foot
• the best shot is a stroke of luck
• the easiest shots are the ones you fluff
• your flashiest shots cost you most points
• you will play your best drop-shots when your opponent is at the front
• if the whole of the court is open and your opponent trapped in the corner you will hit the tin
• mishits will win you more points than winning shots
  

• all points are important, but some are more important than others
• when you start thinking about the score you're about to lose the point
• the more crucial the point the more likely you are to screw it up
• at 9-9 in the fifth you will stoop to depths you would never have believed possible
• it's easy to lose from 8-0 up
• the hardest point to win is hand-in at 8-8

it's easier to play catch-up from match-ball down than to win that match-ball

the SERVICE

• the serve is the stroke you fight hardest to win, and give away the easiest
• when a lob serve feels like a winner it usually goes out
• if it's in he'll say he wasn't ready
• you'd do the same if he'd served
• if he starts serving overarm you'd better watch out

Staying the Course

• whenever you think 'this must be hurting him more than it is me' he'll be thinking the same
• the longest half hours of your life will be on a squash court
• a rally that goes on, goes on and on
• the rallies get longer as you get tireder
• the best moment in a match is when the knock on the door comes - as long as you're losing
• losing is more tiring than winning

Covering the ground

• it's more tiring going front-to-back than side-to-side
• moving fast only works if you go in the right direction
• he who does most running usually loses
• running can slow you down
• the court gets bigger the longer the game goes on
• the quickest way to wear out a pair of shoes is squash

Squash BALLS

• <non-marking balls do
• long-play balls don't
• no two balls ever play the same
• one that plays just how you like will break in the first game
• they never break when you remember to bring a spare
• they always break just at the end of the knock-up or at 8-8 in the fifth