HUMBLE PIE WERE A GREAT BAND!
Peter Crabtree reflects on a semi-final
that went wrong for Chichester ...
OK, this is the moment that some have been waiting for – the 5
course meal that ended with effing great dollops of the aforesaid pie!
But there is an element of pride in the said repast – the team all played
well, probably to the limit of their capabilities under the circumstances,
and could have hoped for a better result, but hardly reasonably have
considered it. This was a Priory team not humbled from the first leg, but
certainly a bit p*ssed off, and determined to exact retribution from their
opponents on the night.
After a luxurious journey courtesy of sponsors Goodwood Fleet Management
in a Chrysler Space Shuttle with f*#k-off leather fittings, and more
switches than even the Vole could work out, we descended on Brummagem with
a degree of confidence that we could certainly give them a fight, and
maybe even just upset them enough! There was definitely a feeling that Ant
and Dec could be made to eat the afore-mentioned snack.
The absence of Fitzy (you mean the ever glamorous and personable best ever
etc etc etc that was there cheering on her team?) seemed to offer the
Southerners a glimmer of hope, but this was dashed when Linda Charman went
down with a touch of the goings off coming on (a northern expression for
those of you furrowing your brows), so young Suzie Pierrepont stepped up
for what seemed to offer us a chance of a winning start following her
close encounter at the Nationals a few weeks before. How many players in
the NSL would envy a record of never having lost to anybody below the
World’s No.1 and 3 (sorry, but Fitzy is, and will remain for some
considerable period of time, the No.1)? Well, that was Suzie’s record on
the night, and she went on court to face ex Chi player Vicky Lankester,
currently ranked 33 in the World, fresh from A-Level studies, a game of
hockey, and a bad night in a Brighton Club, by all accounts!
No excuses – Vicky had just flown in from Dallas, and there were rumours
of a serious win bonus on offer for her. Suzie is 100 in the World,
although that will probably change if she plays a few tournaments, and
seemingly had not much of a chance. The first 2 games showed that to be
the likely outcome, as a mixture of nerves and lack of belief permeated
her game. But the realisation that she had all the qualities to take the
game to her opponent suddenly got through, and she fairly raced through
the 3rd and 4th games to set up a thrilling finish. Fitzy couldn’t stand
the tension, and evaporated to the Vole/Grant match, which left Ant and
yours truly contesting the cheering rights. Easy win to Chi there, but the
match slipped alarmingly in Priory’s favour with some early errors from
Suzie, and better concentration from Vicky. At 8-4 to Vicky, some thought
it was all over, but no, 3 cracking rallies went to Chi, and serving at
6-8, we felt that there was a real chance, but experience triumphed, and
Vicky edged the match to give Priory a crucial start in the match.
On the main court, Adrian Grant was showing his quality in what was a
tough match against Chi Captain Tim Vail. Where the Vole could, probably
should, have taken the first leg, this time the match didn’t get quite so
close. Although he had chances to go into a 2-0 lead, which may just have
had an impact on the final outcome, it wasn’t to be. But 31 in the World
means the Grant man is no mug, and although Vole certainly has showed that
he can compete at that level, those airbags need some work if he is to
reach his full potential. The first went to Tim courtesy of some short
rallies, and a few winners, but the Grant man showed his class in grinding
out a 3-1 win whilst probably not being allowed to play to his best.
In the “pig pen” as I am reliably informed it is affectionately known, Ben
Garner was looking for a repeat 3-0 against Paul “praise the” Lord to get
the count-back tally in the right area. Trouble is, he forgot to tell his
opponent of the supposed outcome. Lordy still has the shots and the
tactical nous to cause trouble for his opponents, even younger (much) and
fitter (somewhat) opponents like Benjy, and he made great use of those
qualities to race into a 1-0 and then 2-1 lead. But Ben has adopted the
Steve Wall attitude (a rather doughty Chi stalwart) of hating losing, and
so he didn’t, taking the 4th and 5th 9-3 each to secure what turned out to
be Chi’s lone point of the evening.
Azzi meanwhile took on Del Harris in what we had hoped might be as close
as we had to a “banker” point. There was obviously some smarting going on
from the previous defeat, as Del played superbly to resist the rush of
winners from the young Malaysian. Mind you, knocking him out with his
racket was a bit strong, and Azzi’s later demonstration of a full “splits”
(jeez – my eyes did water!) showed the commitment he was putting into the
game. The first 3 games were close, and the difference in each was Azzi’s
winning shots at the front of the court – the 2nd game’s were fine, the
others a bit too low! But the outcome gradually became more predictable as
Priory’s Essex boy edged in front to secure the match for the home side,
and a place in the final against Nottingham.
The final (dead) rubber pitted Jelly against “Slapper” Boswell. Now this
may be seen as an extremely disrespectful way of referring to the World
No.4, but wait. Jelly won the spin, and served to get an eagerly
anticipated match under way. Backhand volley crosscourt roller. Hand out!
And this was just the start! The dead rubber gives the higher ranked
player a significant advantage in that if they lose, it doesn’t affect
World Rankings or the outcome of the match, and if they win, they can do
it with a degree of extravagance, as indeed Bozzer did, but only after one
hell of a battle. The only criticism I could have of the whole night is
that some of the gallery have no idea of how quick these players are, and
being on the receiving end of some of the highest quality squash I have
been privileged to see all season, from both players, it was inevitable
that Jelly would be seeking some lets.
To have some of these appeals greeted with sarcastic calls from the
gallery is a bit of an insult to one of the fittest players on the Pro
Tour, and especially having seen him get to some fantastic “winners” from
Bozzer. But moving on, Jelly played out of his skin, and got soundly
beaten 3-0. It was close (-ish) in the first 2, when he played probably
the best he has all season, but this guy is brilliant. Slapping nicks from
almost anywhere he chose, and with Jelly getting probably 2/3rds of them
up, it was a feast for the spectators. I could go on for ages about it,
but let’s face it – we were beaten on the night by a highly motivated team
who deserved their win. On the whole the refereeing was the best and most
consistent of the whole season, and Jelly has promised to buy Mr.
Mazarella some new shoes!
The hospitality was superb, and we wish Ant and Dec and the team the best
of luck in the final, but they should not get too carried away. With our
anticipated line-up next season of Peter Nicol, Jon Power, Toby Palmer and
Jelly, amongst others, along with Lindy, Suzie and our surprise pocket
rocket, we will improve on this season’s impressive record, and be lifting
the cup in 12 months time. So, you have been warned!
Oh, and Humble Pie? Search out the vinyl repositories for some great
music!